This document has been prepared for Gary after a moderate amount of lemon drop courage.
Please review all materials before proceeding.

Final approval for distribution was granted by the committee following an extensive internal review and one very strong opinion.

No prior commitments are implied by clicking Continue.

Official Invitation

An Invitation
to Show Up

You are being invited to briefly appear on FaceTime in the same virtual space as a person who has clearly spent far too much time creating this invitation, and who would enjoy seeing your face.

Participation may occur from any location deemed suitable by the participant, including but not limited to: a dog walk, a home improvement project, bonsai-related activities, the couch, any other activity or view deemed noteworthy by the participant.

No pressure at all.
Absolutely no agenda.
No dress code.
Mild amusement encouraged, but not required.

Oh.

Well. That was
unexpected.

I was fully prepared to have to persuade you. I had material. There were talking points. There is a whole details page.
I'm not saying I'm disappointed that you said yes immediately.
I'm just saying several committee resources were allocated to this effort, and it would be a shame if you didn't at least glance at the details page.

Great Choice.

The committee will be pleased.
This was the committee's preferred outcome.

I miss talking with you.
That's honestly all this is.
I thought it might be nice to have an actual conversation, see your face, even briefly, and spend a little time together again.

The Details

for your review.

Participation Policy

  • Participants are responsible for securing their own beverages, snacks, dog, bonsai, videos to share, and other items they may wish to feature during the event.
  • No special preparation is required.
  • Being present is sufficient.

* Tony's Chocolonely was going to be distributed to each participant. Unfortunately, the technology required to transmit chocolate through the internet remains unavailable at this time. Further complications arose when one participant unexpectedly developed strong opinions regarding health and fitness, and the other participant made the questionable decision to support those efforts.

Camera Guidelines

  • You are not required to keep the camera pointed at yourself for the duration of the event.
  • Acceptable alternatives include: the bonsai, the ceiling, your shoes, Tunes, Big Mama, an unexpectedly compelling view of the floor, or any other views deemed noteworthy by the participant.
  • Camera footage of Tunes will be accepted as a substitute for human participation and may improve the overall quality of the event.

The Tunes Situation

  • Tunes remains a valued stakeholder in this process.
  • Tunes is not required to attend, but her presence would be viewed favorably by the committee.
  • Dog treats were previously provided in preparation for this event. Admittedly, this event did not yet exist at the time, but that feels like a technicality.

Disclosed Side Effects

Side effects may include laughter, wandering off topic, and accidental enjoyment. The committee accepts no responsibility for any of the above.

Pick a day & time.

You may notice an excessive number of available dates. This was done intentionally to maximize flexibility and minimize scheduling nonsense.

Times are shown in both of our time zones so you don't have to do math today.

Should an unusually early time be selected, the California participant has pre-approved a temporary suspension of normal sleep operations.

Committee Notice

The committee has met and would like to thank everyone for their flexibility during this planning process.

It's happening.

Date & time TBD — but soon

✦ You will need to text me your selection. I was not talented enough to make this thing notify me, and I refused to let that stop me from sending it anyway. ✦

Official Agenda

  1. Pick up phone.
  2. Say hello.
  3. Admire Tunes.
  4. Give Tunes a treat.
  5. Briefly attempt to stay on topic.
  6. Wander off topic.
  7. Continue wandering off topic.
  8. Receive a brief tour of the new house.
  9. Have a nice time despite the committee's lack of qualifications.
  10. Completely ignore the official agenda, as it was never enforceable.

This invitation is non-transferable. Camera direction remains at the discretion of each participant. Thank you for entertaining this unnecessarily elaborate invitation process. The committee considers it time well spent.

Your decision has

theoretically been recorded.

While this outcome was not the committee's preferred result, the committee acknowledges that it currently consists of only one voting member and may therefore be biased.

The system has successfully captured your response. Unfortunately, it has not shared that information with anyone.

Please text me your decision so it can be acknowledged by the appropriate department.

Thank you for participating in this unnecessarily elaborate invitation process.

Important Notice

Due to ongoing technical limitations, the committee will not be informed of your selection automatically. Despite repeated discussions, the committee has been unable to resolve this issue.

For your convenience, the following pre-approved responses have been prepared. Please feel free to screenshot the appropriate option and submit it to the committee.